Today, a long piece of official prose hit our desks, sent by the European Union Delegation of the Commission to China and Mongolia. It started thus: "European Commissioner for Competition Neelie Kroes will visit Beijing from 3 to 5 September 2007, where she will have high-level ministerial meetings on competition policy and on enhancing cooperation between the Commission and the Chinese competition authorities." So far, so unappealing. We pushed ourselves to read on.

Yawning noticeably, we passed our eyes over the next paragraph: "She will also discuss the Chinese and European economies, and the role of competition policy in enhancing their competitiveness.  During her visit, the Commissioner will have high-level ministerial meetings among others at the Ministry of Commerce and the State Administration of Industry and Commerce as well as with senior academics and representatives of the European and Chinese business communities."

Agreed, enough already. But, as we are media masochists, we force-fed ourselves the next few lines: "The visit coincides with the adoption of the first comprehensive Anti-Monopoly Law by the Standing Committee of the National People's Congress of the People's Republic of China. The visit takes place in the framework of the EU-China Competition Policy Dialogue and is the latest in a range of EU-China contacts to discuss competition policy matters that began in 2003." Not even nuclear matchsticks could save us now.

And, we really would have stopped there. But the next part truly stopped us in our sleepy tracks. "Competition Commissioner Neelie Kroes said: 'I congratulate the Chinese authorities for the adoption of the Anti-Monopoly Law. I am very impressed with the work of the Chinese legislators, who have taken this important step towards an effective competition regime. The implementation of a transparent and non-discriminatory competition framework will benefit the Chinese economy and Chinese consumers. I hope China will derive the same economic benefits as we have in the EU, where a sound competition policy has helped to create open markets and increased consumer welfare.'"

Yes, we thought that was extraordinarily patronising, too. And we fully expect that his was exactly the same response discussed in the upper echelons of the Chinese government.